"Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest."
The surprising part is how long the "beginning" goes on for. Three years ago I quit my job. I spent one year looking for work. Then by fate, I found my calling. Now 1.5 years down that path I'm making entry level wages for a job I'm over qualified for. And I have another year in front of me before I'm certified with my 1500 hours so I can begin..... my work as a Behavior Analyst.
I say all this just to say, don't give up. It's probably for the best you don't know exactly how long the beginning will take. Be gentle and take care of yourself while you ride the ups and downs of the waves before you. This too shall pass, and then other things will be important and require your full attention. The good news is you get to focus on you, your career, your path. Or maybe your beginning is different than mine, and your job is steady and your are focusing on being a part of a couple. Whatever, you choose to focus on, do it with kindness. It's a long ride, and the "beginning" can take longer than expected. ; )
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Why are we drawn to things that don't serve us?
Why are we drawn to things not good for us?
My body shakes, and I am drawn to investigate. I find trouble and myself covered in tar. Now, that I think back, the shake wasn't positive filled with excitement and joy, but I went forward anyways. Why? The same reason I choose chocolate, when I know spinach is better for my stomach. Why?
Because I think we come to experience. On one plane there is no good or evil, there just is experience, and we are here to experience. So, we wade in. It would be nice to remain whole, tidy, on our feet dancing, but this might be more akin from where we came. Here we seem to seek out getting muddled up in life, and we wind up flat on our face. We dust ourselves off, and say why did I do that. I know better than that. I can only say.... because we are human. Maybe even more apropos than the words "human being" would be "human experiencing" and if we could emprace That, and all that it entails we could celebrate even the moments we're covered in mud. Alas, to be alive is to experience, and to be human is to have our experience, so congratulations you are living!!!!
Robert By puts it this way in, "A Home In Dark Grass"
"We did not come to remain whole.
We came to lose our leaves like the trees,
The trees that are broken
and start again drawing up from the great roots."
My body shakes, and I am drawn to investigate. I find trouble and myself covered in tar. Now, that I think back, the shake wasn't positive filled with excitement and joy, but I went forward anyways. Why? The same reason I choose chocolate, when I know spinach is better for my stomach. Why?
Because I think we come to experience. On one plane there is no good or evil, there just is experience, and we are here to experience. So, we wade in. It would be nice to remain whole, tidy, on our feet dancing, but this might be more akin from where we came. Here we seem to seek out getting muddled up in life, and we wind up flat on our face. We dust ourselves off, and say why did I do that. I know better than that. I can only say.... because we are human. Maybe even more apropos than the words "human being" would be "human experiencing" and if we could emprace That, and all that it entails we could celebrate even the moments we're covered in mud. Alas, to be alive is to experience, and to be human is to have our experience, so congratulations you are living!!!!
Robert By puts it this way in, "A Home In Dark Grass"
"We did not come to remain whole.
We came to lose our leaves like the trees,
The trees that are broken
and start again drawing up from the great roots."
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Nobel Laureates for 2011
I love keeping an eye on our Nobel Laureates. What are we doing for the betterment of Mankind. What genius is being discovered? What inspiration has taken hold? I don't speak the deep languages of the scientists, but I see an essence in their work that is mirrored in every day experiences because be it a molecule or deep space, we are talking about measuring distances, looking at light, discovering patterns. Their genius has to be brought down to a level a human can grasp, and so they use human tools, a microscope, a telescope, and for the poet the heart and a sense of sight unparalleled. Not that I am biased or anything.
Let's celebrate these few, for the qualities we all have access to.
Tomas Tranströmer is a poet. His day job was psychology. (I am instantly brought to tears upon hearing this.) Seamus Heaney said, "Maybe it is becasue he's a poet that he makes a good psychologist. Both deal with the fleeting moment." I believe psychology and poetry are two windows looking out on the same park, but from a different floor. Psychology can speak to the wet gravel from the rain the night before. And from above the mountain sloping, ocean, and fog are blended into a single horizon, and you can see the oneness of all that is so seemingly unique. Both speak to and about the human experience for the purpose of soothing the soul, resonating with the heart, and sparking a passion.
Seamus also talked about visiting Tomas after the his stroke. Tomas couldn't speak, but he played the piano, and through this the same transcendant quality in his poetry came through. He was in a trance with the music. There were notes, silences, and Tomas and in the room something was transmitted. (Beautiful Presence.)
As for Dan Shechtman the chemist who discovered (at the age of 42) five sided molecules in crystals, my favorite quote (on the KCSM program) was when he said with excitement and daring,"I found a material that had a forbidden symmetry."
Living in Isreal, they quickly panned the Islamic tile work that uses 5 sided patterns profusely. Sometimes, I think life imitates art, and those living closest to the art are quickest to see it made manifest in life. (Did you hear about the South American family that believed in a magic lake with mermaids, and then the woman who have birth to a daughter with fused legs that looked like a mermaid tail? Or the Indian family who birthed a child with two arms on each side of her body, like so many of their goddesses?)
"Discovery consists or seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought." -Albert Szent-Gyorgyi Nobel Laureate in Medicine 1937.
Let's celebrate these few, for the qualities we all have access to.
Tomas Tranströmer is a poet. His day job was psychology. (I am instantly brought to tears upon hearing this.) Seamus Heaney said, "Maybe it is becasue he's a poet that he makes a good psychologist. Both deal with the fleeting moment." I believe psychology and poetry are two windows looking out on the same park, but from a different floor. Psychology can speak to the wet gravel from the rain the night before. And from above the mountain sloping, ocean, and fog are blended into a single horizon, and you can see the oneness of all that is so seemingly unique. Both speak to and about the human experience for the purpose of soothing the soul, resonating with the heart, and sparking a passion.
Seamus also talked about visiting Tomas after the his stroke. Tomas couldn't speak, but he played the piano, and through this the same transcendant quality in his poetry came through. He was in a trance with the music. There were notes, silences, and Tomas and in the room something was transmitted. (Beautiful Presence.)
As for Dan Shechtman the chemist who discovered (at the age of 42) five sided molecules in crystals, my favorite quote (on the KCSM program) was when he said with excitement and daring,"I found a material that had a forbidden symmetry."
Living in Isreal, they quickly panned the Islamic tile work that uses 5 sided patterns profusely. Sometimes, I think life imitates art, and those living closest to the art are quickest to see it made manifest in life. (Did you hear about the South American family that believed in a magic lake with mermaids, and then the woman who have birth to a daughter with fused legs that looked like a mermaid tail? Or the Indian family who birthed a child with two arms on each side of her body, like so many of their goddesses?)
"Discovery consists or seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought." -Albert Szent-Gyorgyi Nobel Laureate in Medicine 1937.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
My Creative Process
So, this might be my most revealing, personal post yet. I have so far found beauty and truth and reflected with you on what matters most. But this post, is a glimpse into the contents of my soul.
After hearing Elizabeth Gilbert speak on creativity on Ted talks. (http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=fKyljukBE70) She spoke of Ruth Stone's creative process, and so for the first time, did I put words to my own experience of receiving an idea or creative flow.
I've never put words or throught to this, but my gathering of creative insight feels like a rain barrell. Drip. Drip. I find I am collecting thoughts. If the thought is too perfect and the words are "just so", I need a pen and paper immediately. If an apporximation is good enough, I can wait until my destination to write it down. (I often get insight while driving.) There is also a feeling of filling. If the barrell is getting too full and the drops are blending into one, I need to write more quickly to capture the individuality before it's lost into the coiffers of creative juice. Fuel none the less, but not refined, exquisit, glimpsed and felt while watching the drop fall. When I have more time I can expand on this, but I must capture it, so it is not lost. There is also a sense of a possibility of loss. And lost it may be-come. back to the oneness from which it game glittering and unique through these words for me to see, from source back to all that is one and no longer distinguishable. It is a timing thing, and some are lost. I always carry a pen and paper, not sure when it will come or when I want to meander with an idea. But I usually know when it is done, when the thought has passed.
Ruth Stone, can sometimes catch a poem by the last word, and pull it back, perfect and from back to front. This is how I record dreams.
After hearing Elizabeth Gilbert speak on creativity on Ted talks. (http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=fKyljukBE70) She spoke of Ruth Stone's creative process, and so for the first time, did I put words to my own experience of receiving an idea or creative flow.
I've never put words or throught to this, but my gathering of creative insight feels like a rain barrell. Drip. Drip. I find I am collecting thoughts. If the thought is too perfect and the words are "just so", I need a pen and paper immediately. If an apporximation is good enough, I can wait until my destination to write it down. (I often get insight while driving.) There is also a feeling of filling. If the barrell is getting too full and the drops are blending into one, I need to write more quickly to capture the individuality before it's lost into the coiffers of creative juice. Fuel none the less, but not refined, exquisit, glimpsed and felt while watching the drop fall. When I have more time I can expand on this, but I must capture it, so it is not lost. There is also a sense of a possibility of loss. And lost it may be-come. back to the oneness from which it game glittering and unique through these words for me to see, from source back to all that is one and no longer distinguishable. It is a timing thing, and some are lost. I always carry a pen and paper, not sure when it will come or when I want to meander with an idea. But I usually know when it is done, when the thought has passed.
Ruth Stone, can sometimes catch a poem by the last word, and pull it back, perfect and from back to front. This is how I record dreams.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Siddartha's Lessons
I was listening to the book by Herman Hesse called "Siddartha". It is the story of the life of Buddha. Here are some of the resonating parts.
As a monk he learned patience, fasting, thinking. The benefit of fasting is you don't have to accept any work, just to get money so you can eat. You can be at peace with not eating and so choose the work you want. Patience encourages you not to drive, steer, take control, but rather to allow. "He sat and waited for the voice of his own heart."
"Where are you going?" It struck me that answering this question could be more telling than "How are you? How have you been?" Even between good friends that haven't seen eachother for a long time this is a better question. Instead of fine, you hear that a person is on a pilgrimage, picking up their grandchild, on their way to the doctor. The details in the answer reveal histories of marriages, children had, a health isuue, or taking a spiritual direction. {Similarly you can't ask a 2 year old, "How are you?" It's too abstract. So I ask, "What are you doing? What did you have for dinner?" Similar tactic of staying present to reveal an aspect of a person's life.}
"We are ephemeral formations. Now he stands beneath, changed." Everything changes.
"He might have been the best business man, but he wouldn't be Siddartha." The importance of follwoing your calling, being authentic. "You are unique in all the world" The Little Prince reminds us. Just be that!
He talked about a "senseless" life. He uses this to describe his time being fully engaged in his senses, consuming the consumable world. He was rich, he wore perfume, lived richly, had servants, did business. I thought it was an interesting play on words. He was innundating his senses, his spirit dragged along by the need to fulfill these senses. And yet, he considered the time "senseless". Then.... he came to his "senses" and found a more authentic path. Ahhh....
"A true seeker could accept no teaching if he truly wished to find. But a man who had found, could approve every teaching, everywhere, every goal. Nothing separated hiim from those who lived in the eternal."
He talks about the quality of deep listening between two friends. "He felt his own pain, anxiety, secret hope, revealing the wound was like bathing the wound in a river until cool. This motionless listener was god, eternity, the river absorbing his confession like a tree absorbs water and while he stopped identifying with the wound he saw his friend has always been that way. Everything could be said, shared, revealed. As he spoke on and on, his friend (Vasadave) listened with a silent face. As he spoke, Siddartha felt Vasadave's listening, he felt his own pains flowing across to him and it came back, each time cooled by the presence of his friend. The more he felt Vasadave's presence, it felt right just as it was. Everything in its place, Vasadave radiated love, serentity towards him. Vasadave lead Siddartha back to the river. "Listen again, hear more. Do you hear? Hear better."
Siddartha met Camala, a courtisan, to learn about love. He learned much about pleasure, but he learned about love, doing anything for another person including looking silly, from his relationship with his son. He never lost his heart so completely as when he lost his son.
The hard thing about being a parent is you can't know how to guide your child. You don't know to what they are called. You can't save them the suffering though you would do anything to. You wish you could pass on your learning. Save them the suffering. But this is not why you suffered, to save them. This is an experiential journey, and it is theirs to experience, as hard is that can be to witness. You cannot save another. No one is spared the path of figuring it out on his own. A man cannot take away the pain, cannot shield him from his destiny.
"Farewell" is "Fair thee well".
"Will you say a word to me, venerable one?" Seeking Govinda bids of wise Siddartha.
I think the one word should be "Govinda". Because we hold the key to our own riddle. We each must be authentic, and only YOU my love can know what that means to You. So.... venerable friend, I offer you, You. You are the key. You are the one who can answer your own question. The tool I offer is listening. Hear what your heart has to say. Act on it to the best of your ability in your imperfect human way, and this is all. So, I give you You.
As a monk he learned patience, fasting, thinking. The benefit of fasting is you don't have to accept any work, just to get money so you can eat. You can be at peace with not eating and so choose the work you want. Patience encourages you not to drive, steer, take control, but rather to allow. "He sat and waited for the voice of his own heart."
"Where are you going?" It struck me that answering this question could be more telling than "How are you? How have you been?" Even between good friends that haven't seen eachother for a long time this is a better question. Instead of fine, you hear that a person is on a pilgrimage, picking up their grandchild, on their way to the doctor. The details in the answer reveal histories of marriages, children had, a health isuue, or taking a spiritual direction. {Similarly you can't ask a 2 year old, "How are you?" It's too abstract. So I ask, "What are you doing? What did you have for dinner?" Similar tactic of staying present to reveal an aspect of a person's life.}
"We are ephemeral formations. Now he stands beneath, changed." Everything changes.
"He might have been the best business man, but he wouldn't be Siddartha." The importance of follwoing your calling, being authentic. "You are unique in all the world" The Little Prince reminds us. Just be that!
He talked about a "senseless" life. He uses this to describe his time being fully engaged in his senses, consuming the consumable world. He was rich, he wore perfume, lived richly, had servants, did business. I thought it was an interesting play on words. He was innundating his senses, his spirit dragged along by the need to fulfill these senses. And yet, he considered the time "senseless". Then.... he came to his "senses" and found a more authentic path. Ahhh....
"A true seeker could accept no teaching if he truly wished to find. But a man who had found, could approve every teaching, everywhere, every goal. Nothing separated hiim from those who lived in the eternal."
He talks about the quality of deep listening between two friends. "He felt his own pain, anxiety, secret hope, revealing the wound was like bathing the wound in a river until cool. This motionless listener was god, eternity, the river absorbing his confession like a tree absorbs water and while he stopped identifying with the wound he saw his friend has always been that way. Everything could be said, shared, revealed. As he spoke on and on, his friend (Vasadave) listened with a silent face. As he spoke, Siddartha felt Vasadave's listening, he felt his own pains flowing across to him and it came back, each time cooled by the presence of his friend. The more he felt Vasadave's presence, it felt right just as it was. Everything in its place, Vasadave radiated love, serentity towards him. Vasadave lead Siddartha back to the river. "Listen again, hear more. Do you hear? Hear better."
Siddartha met Camala, a courtisan, to learn about love. He learned much about pleasure, but he learned about love, doing anything for another person including looking silly, from his relationship with his son. He never lost his heart so completely as when he lost his son.
The hard thing about being a parent is you can't know how to guide your child. You don't know to what they are called. You can't save them the suffering though you would do anything to. You wish you could pass on your learning. Save them the suffering. But this is not why you suffered, to save them. This is an experiential journey, and it is theirs to experience, as hard is that can be to witness. You cannot save another. No one is spared the path of figuring it out on his own. A man cannot take away the pain, cannot shield him from his destiny.
"Farewell" is "Fair thee well".
"Will you say a word to me, venerable one?" Seeking Govinda bids of wise Siddartha.
I think the one word should be "Govinda". Because we hold the key to our own riddle. We each must be authentic, and only YOU my love can know what that means to You. So.... venerable friend, I offer you, You. You are the key. You are the one who can answer your own question. The tool I offer is listening. Hear what your heart has to say. Act on it to the best of your ability in your imperfect human way, and this is all. So, I give you You.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Sunday Blessing
I hope this weather, lapped at the soul through your feet.
I hope your sweet dog curled up between your heart strings,
and from the inside out you feel strong and relaxed,
joyful and capable to handle whatever comes up.
Flexible as a yoga stretch,
as reassuring as a hug,
as loved as a butterfly,
as free as you (insert name here.)
I hope your sweet dog curled up between your heart strings,
and from the inside out you feel strong and relaxed,
joyful and capable to handle whatever comes up.
Flexible as a yoga stretch,
as reassuring as a hug,
as loved as a butterfly,
as free as you (insert name here.)
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